Preparing Glasgow for a zombie apocalypse in World War Z

Brad Pitt will be filming in Glasgow this August in what is to be one of the biggest shoots Scotland has ever seen, The Daily Record revealed on Sunday.

Pitt is to star as Max Brooks, the protagonist and author of World War Z, who as an agent of the United Nations Postwar Commission collects eye witness statements in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse.

In an even more cunning twist, Glasgow's George Square will in fact be standing in for the facades of Philadelphia. For the two week shoot Vincent Street will be closed and a tented village will be erected with false shop fronts and American cars. The Casting Collective has also been recruiting zombie extras.

Although speculation tends towards whether Pitt's presence in Glasgow entails that of Angelina Jolie and their brood, ReelScotland foresees more pressing concerns. Since Glasgow's city centre is soon to be ringing with explosions, gunfire and the undead “ and in light of the recent concerns brought to public attention about Leicester City Council's woefully inadequate provisions in the instance of a zombie invasion “ ReelScotland considers how the Merchant City would fare if such an incident were to occur.

Lesson One: Insurance

In Neil Marshall's 2008 film Doomsday, Glasgow's East End features as a Scotland in quarantine due to outspread of the deadly Reaper virus. When the virus is detected in London an elite operation, headed by Rhona Mitra, is sent into the country to find a cure only to discover a fiefdom overrun by knights and marauders. Misfortune transpired in both film and reality: the Bentley Continental GT Speed featured in the climactic chase scene was one of three cars purchased at the expense of the production (Bentley eschews product placement) totalling $150,000, one of which was accidentally driven into a gorge.

Lesson Two: Music

Martial arts thriller, Unleashed, written by Luc Besson and directed by Louis Leterrier, is set and was filmed entirely on site in Glasgow. Loan shark, Bob Hoskins, extracts payment from his unfortunate debtors by setting loose Danny (Jet Li), a feral fighting machine. When Danny collapses in a fighting tournament, he is taken in by a compassionate piano tuner played by Morgan Freeman who, take note Glasgow bands, socialises him through music.

Lesson Three: Don't trust your senses

Since Perfect Sense is set to premiere at the Edinburgh international Film Festival on 18 June, it would be premature to draw conclusions. This romance between the chef of an upmarket Glasgow restaurant and an epidemiologist is set against the backdrop of a virus that triggers volatile behaviour before the infected party loses their senses entirely. With Ewan McGregor and Eva Green in the principal roles, what is the lesson to be? Survival of the fittest? Don't lose your head? Surely not, ˜look after number one'?

Conclusion: Money

Citizens take heart, this ˜invasion' which is set for release in 2014, is estimated to be worth £ 1.5 million to the Scottish economy. It would seem that Glasgow thrives under such hostile circumstances.